Day 362/365: lucid

My wife possesses a degree of brilliance that never ceases to amaze me. It’s something otherworldly. Honestly. I’m not just saying that because she’s my wife, but that is definitely one of the reasons I fell in love with her and why I am thrilled that I married her. But I digress. What’s really helpful though is that she has such an amazing perspective on things. She just gets stuff.

So I asked her about surrender. Like how she does it. She looked at me like I had three heads. And she’s like, “That’s why you struggle with surrender. You’re so eager to get your head wrapped around it. You don’t have to process surrender. You just have to do it. You make a choice to do it.”

And like that, the light bulb went on. It’s so simple. It’s in the choosing. Duh. Side note: Somehow the truly simple things tend to elude me because I want to overthink, overanalyze, overcomplicate. Essentially make something hard and a struggle when it doesn’t have to be. Like who chooses that?! Yours truly. No wonder it’s been so hard to surrender all these years. Eesh.

I’m not sure why it made sense and why I suddenly realize how attainable it really is. Maybe because I’m finally open to it, receptive to it, able to receive it. Which means now that I understand it, I can act on it. When you know better, you do better, right? Right.

My left brain still wants to dissect this more, but I’m surrendering to sleep. So g’night.

n

 

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