Day 361/365: left out

I’ve been reading A LOT about this new energy coming in and how it’s shifting us, which many people are saying is affecting them profoundly. However, I’m feeling left out, dammit.

I’m not experiencing all these tell-tale signs of a shift. I feel like I normally do. Which has me a bit worried because I have learned that if you are unable to integrate this energy then you will be left behind. And this idea makes me feel like I’m not smart enough or spiritual enough or enough period to be a part of this Age of Aquarius.

Like there’s a piece of me that sincerely wants to freak the f#@$ out right now because I’m terrified that I’ll get left behind. And it’s not like FOMO. And I know it sounds totally irrational, but so did Will’s mom on Stranger Things and you see how that turned out. Just sayin’.

So I’m not really sure what to do here. But I do know that that is how I feel most of the time, like I’m on the outside looking in. I’m not sure how to make peace with that.

Maybe I need to turn around and make my space a new space. Ah, better yet. I need to turn inward and see what my space looks like then create it for myself externally and see what happens. I obviously have spent a great deal of time trying to get in or fit in, but that approach is not working. Perhaps because it’s not meant to. I’m not meant to fit in; I’m meant to break molds and create new spaces. And it won’t look like anything else because it’s not supposed to.

No more looking out to try to fit in. More looking in and creating something new that may bring others to me in a powerful way so that I can best serve.

Hmm … maybe I’m not getting left behind after all. I might even be leading the way.

n

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