This moon has me all up in my feelings. I’m living somewhere in the liminal space between being on the cusp of having it all and having it all with a healthy dose of fear around having it all in the middle.
There’s some issues of deservedness I have to get beyond. Tonight in our coaching call we talked about how you manifest at the level of your self-worth. I know this intrinsically, in theory anyway. But when it comes to practice, as I look around, uh, my self-worth is in dire need of an overhaul. Like seriously.
Sitting on the call tonight, and each time I get on the call, I feel like I’m on the outside looking in. Like how is everyone else just manifesting all this amazing shit and here I am creeping along at a snail’s pace? Like wtf! It’s agonizing. And while there is no comparison, as I am not in a race with anyone else, to bear witness to others just diving in is just painful, to be honest.
I still feel like I’m on the edge of the diving board and though I know how to swim, or at least enough not to drown, I can’t seem to jump. I need to know where the switch is to make it all turn on and just work. And yet I know that I am the switch, or I need to make the switch. Or both.
And until I do, I will sit here, in this fucking liminal space and just wait. Aaaarrgghh.