I have a rich, internal dialogue that goes on in my head, but I’m not always so good at saying what I need, feel or mean out loud. But I did today.
My biz partner was talking about expanding the business and new offerings she’d like to do and when she mentioned her idea, I flat out told her, “NO. I want no part of it. That’s not my brand.” Shocked the hell outta me. Like I don’t even know where it came from.
She took it quite well, and even began laughing. And I laughed too, but I added that, “Just because I don’t want to do it, doesn’t mean you can’t.” I wanted to be clear about expectations and to speak up for myself about what I felt was a good fit for me within this container we’re creating. It felt foreign, but good to be able to advocate for myself in that way. It’s new for me, a little uncomfortable, but not so uncomfortable that I stopped myself.
Oh, and I bought tickets to see The Moth for next week. It’s a date night, but I mostly love storytelling. I’m not so sure she’s keen on it. But I asked and although she wasn’t enthusiastic, she said yes. And I left it at that. I didn’t re-ask her. I just didn’t read into it and just went with it.
I’m learning that I can’t manage others’ expectations. I can only manage my own. And that speaking up, using my voice and making my presence known doesn’t have to be so painful (at least as painful as I imagined it to be) after all.