Day 213-214/365: Out of focus

Seriously, over the past 2 days I have not been myself. I was so in the zone and on top of my game and then all of a sudden, my present-mindedness is just gone. I don’t have the luxury of feeling out of focus as this week I go into my client’s office every day.

I am ever so grateful for the billable time, however, I am not looking forward to the energetic drain. Maybe that’s what has me off my game. I spent so much time focusing on focusing, I’m just out of focus. And this weekend totally reflected that.

I was not able to communicate well with my partner. I walked into rooms and forgot what I went there for. I would be in the middle of something and forget what I was doing. Then I left a store with the sensor tag still on the clothing because if I had been paying better attention, then it would not have happened. And my gut literally said, “I hope she gets all the sensors off.” And I went allll the way home (45 minutes away) only to unbag the items to find one pair of pants with the sensor on. Grrr! So frustrating! And it was a complicated exchange to begin with so I could have gone to a closer location, but my wife was like, “It will probably be better to just take it back to the exact location because I have a feeling if you don’t, they make think something is up.” It’s hard being Black in Amerikkka some days—most days really, but I digress. So back we went and got it taken care of.

There are more things that happened that simply aren’t worth recounting, but it did remind me how important it is to just be present and be still some days. I’ll have to take some time to decompress tonight before I get ready for this week. I feel drained already, but if I have presence of mind, hopefully, I will be able to come out of the week unscathed. Hopefully.



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