Today I went to see my nephew on my wife’s side play football. We drove 3.5 hours to see him play. And it was well worth it. His team scored 42 points while their opponents scored none. It was a slaughter.
The best part was that all my nephew’s brothers and sisters came out and we did not expect to see them. These are all kids that I have watched grow in so many amazing ways and it was so awesome to reconnect with them, pick up right where we left off and just spend some good time together.
My wife is a twin (fraternal) so she was able to have a great visit with her twin as well, along with me and my mother-in-law. She shared some health concerns with us along with updates on the kids and how their law practice was thriving. And it feel really good to reconnect in all these wonderful ways.
As we were driving back home, it was growing dark and as I sat in the passenger’s seat, I noticed my reflection in the window. And I was hypercritical of what I saw staring back at me. And when I recognized what I was doing and how negative I was being toward myself, I paused. I realized that I am able to connect with others and enjoy them so much better than I am able to connect—and reconnect—with myself.
So that leads me to wonder, if I struggle to connect with myself, is it even possible for me to be able to connect with others in an authentic way? Or is it that in those moments that I am able to connect with others that I am able reconnect with myself? I’m leaning toward the latter. And in those moments I’m going to have to check in with myself and see how I feel. Regardless of what I come up with, I am grateful for the connection and the reconnection. It helps me feel not so alone on this planet. It makes me feel like I matter and that we all matter.