Eesh. Just seeing that word in the title of this post makes me cringe. The whole purpose of this project was to move away from feeling numb. And for the most part I’ve done well. And now I’m beyond the halfway point so at this point the posts are on cruise control, no? Nope.
I cannot for the life of me summon feeling today. I’m sure I feel something. Or am I? When I’m at a crossroads I tend to want to escape, and numbing out is a form of escape. So I’m going to have to dig in my heels and figure out how to escape this malaise. I have a plan, which I’ll execute tomorrow. So hopefully tomorrow’s post will reflect the fact that I took action to break away from the numbness.
What I have decided tonight though is that I will not be hard on myself for feeling (or not feeling, as the case may be) this way. No judgment. Just recognition that tomorrow is a new day rife with new possibilities.
For now, it’s over and out.