Day 164/365: Shame

I just purchased Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly and dove into it. It’s an incredible read, and I’m only on Chapter 3. It’s all about shame and vulnerability. Specifically, “how shame stops us from being vulnerable and connected.” And connection is why we’re here. We all need to remember that we are not in this alone. We are all connected. But we forget that in the midst of all these social constructs and principles that get crammed down our throats and into our minds.

Being unable to be vulnerable and really feel is a large reason why I began this blog in the first place. But I’m not sure I attached it to shame. I don’t know if I even knew to go there because we work really hard at trying to outrun shame because the possibility of being vulnerable is excruciating. And I am no exception.

The interesting thing about shame is that when you can recover from shame, you walk into vulnerability with grace and your world opens up. I have shame around things that happened to me as a child. And I recognize that that experience colors, and in some cases, clouds my interactions with some of the people who love me the most. I am getting better about being compassionate with myself, however, I’m still not quite able to show up as my full authentic self because many days the shame holds me back.

What’s also interesting about shame is that it’s not a one-and-done type thing. You must over time develop shame resiliency and then you can grow more comfortable with vulnerability, which in turn takes the sting out of vulnerability and allows you to foster deep connection.

Look, I don’t have it all figured out. But I do recognize that I definitely need to work on it. And that it’s a process. And I know I will be better than when I started. And at the end of the day, that’s all I can hope for.

If you’re interested in a more in-depth discussion of shame and vulnerability, check out Brene Brown’s TedxHouston talk below. It will change your life and hopefully allow to move beyond shame into compassion for yourself and fostering deeper connections.



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