Day 148/365: Slow-Mo Mode

I am on a path that I know is meant for me, sort of. Allow me to explain. So, I feel like I’m headed in the right direction, but it may take me on a few twists and turns still. It feels good to know that I’m moving toward something that feels good and that I’m making choices to do things a different way. However, at the same time, I feel like it’s taking me forever to get there. Seriously.

Now I know many people say this often, but for me it feels true. And I’m getting a bit tired of the twists and turns. Don’t get me wrong. I am well aware that that is the way things work out and no one’s path is really all that straight and narrow. But instead of walking at a steady, brisk clip, I feel like I’m always trudging through quicksand, taking detours that lead nowhere and having to take two steps back to go one step forward. Sigh. Deep sigh. Heavy, deep sigh.

I feel like I’m on the verge of something big, not necessarily for the world, but for me, personally. Like when I find this thing that I’ve been heading down the path toward, it will be mind-blowingly amazing and so simple—and it will have been there all along, but I either just didn’t recognize it or it wasn’t quite in the right form just yet.

I would love to speed things up, but maybe if I go too fast, I’ll miss some important steps. And there’s a piece of me that wants to break free, but I just can’t. Not yet anyway. I still feel like there’s more research I need to do. Isn’t there always? But that’s not even it. It’s really about finding my way to me, each and every day, bit by bit, piece by piece. Until I come to a point where all the little pieces I find that make me up, create a picture that I love and that serves in a way the world really needs.

Until that time, however, here I am, on the treadmill, going up a steep incline, until I can step off and into my brand new life, and my brand new me. Until then, I guess I’m just biding my time till the real me shows up.

n

 

Image source: Happy Herbivore Blog

 

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