Day 130/365: (Wonderfully?) Weird

I had to do a video today to promote some workshops we have coming up, and we did the footage raw, no editing. And then proceeded to post it on Facebook. I had gotten so busy and forgotten that the video was even uploaded that I didn’t even have time to worry about how I looked in the video.

I’m not talking about hair and makeup as much as facial features. I am very animated, which I suppose is fine, but I’ve also noticed on videos that my mouth is actually crooked. It looks like it’s twisted on my face. I don’t like videos or even pictures of myself for this reason, because no matter the angle, my face does it. And it’s weird. And honestly, I don’t like it. And I’ve tried to consciously change it, but nothing works. And I’m sure some people might say, “You’re exaggerating.” No, I’m not. But I can’t change it. And I have to learn to live with it, which is difficult because I am going to have to speak in front of large crowds of people, which is fine, with the 20 foot rule in effect, where everything looks fine on stage from 20 feet away.

However, when it comes to video, I absolutely dislike my facial movements. But, I did not let it stop me. I just felt like, well, okay, now everyone will know this weird thing about me, and I’ll have to be okay with it.

At this point, I feel too tired to care to be honest. And I don’t know if I’m just resigned to the fact that my face does this or I’m making peace with it or what. But I guess I’ll have to be content to be added to the list of others with weird stuff that they don’t like about themselves. And be okay with being a little off center. Maybe that’s what makes all of us so special.

n

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