Day 91/365: Grief

My mother’s birthday is approaching and it’s being reflected in my mood and how I’m feeling lately.

Although it’s been nearly 6 years since she passed, the grief is still so very heavy for me. The month of June tends to be especially hard for me because not only is it her birthday, but it’s also the same month of her passing — exactly two weeks after her birthday.

Grief is a funny thing. It occurs in waves and when the tide rises on grief and the waves come crashing in, you feel like you’re drowning. The feeling is so profound, it feels like it could swallow you whole.

But, I am here and she is There. And so all I am left with is memories that I desperately cling to—the sound of her voice, her hugs, her perfume. And her star.

A pink and green twinkly little glamorous star. It flashes her sorority colors so brilliantly letting me know it’s her and reminding me that she’s still here, with me, watching over me. She always appears when I need her most. And she always used to say, “Hitch your wagon to a star and keep it ever before you.”

She is the star that my wagon will forever be hitched to, always leading me and guiding me along the way.

I miss you, mom, but I know you’re still here with me lighting the way. Thank you for always being a bright spot in my life and a clear beacon along the way. I love you.

n

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