Day 62-63/365: Heartbroken & Anticipation

May 9: Welp, full disclosure: I completely forgot to blog yesterday. I had a busy schedule and I got home super late and then went to bed because I was flat out exhausted. So today’s post is a combo deal, a 2-fer-1 if you will.

Yesterday, we heard the bird’s nest that was sitting atop the gutter drain pipe outside our window fall. When I looked out the window to check, I saw a cat by the hostas where the 3 babies had fallen. I rushed outside to scare the cat away, but my partner was already out there. So the cat scurried away and we saw one baby sitting atop the hostas.

We weren’t sure what to do with the babies and the fallen nest so we went inside to Google it. Rookie move. By the time we got back outside, the cat had run away with all three babies and the poor sweet distressed mama robin was flying around the yard. My heart just broke. And I honestly felt like a miserable, failure of a human. I cried and felt so terrible for both the mama bird and the babies.

This is the second time a robin has built her nest outside of our place. The first time we had better luck, however, one baby bird flew the coop early—or rather jumped/flew early and landed on our deck. He ended up jumping off the deck, but thankfully, he landed safely in the brush below. Hopefully, the third time’s the charm if a robin builds a nest near us. You almost feel like a foster parent. You develop such a deep connection with these little neighbors. Well, now I know what to do and if it happens again I’ll be prepared. But my heart still feels heavy.

May 10: So I received my Goddess Kali bracelet from Energy Muse in the mail, set the intention for it and began wearing it. It has a little bell, which I love hearing, which clears and removes unwanted energy. For me though, it’s almost like a reminder to be present and to be open to what may come. I am looking forward to what lies ahead on my path and am looking forward to leaving a lot of things behind by the end of this year.

The Hindu goddess Kali is all about radical transformation. Her inspiration and power are not for those who want to play at change but instead for those who are willing to go the distance to experience a radical new beginning. I’m feeling excited about what I am becoming. And we are always, in all ways, becoming.

So I anticipate my next evolution and know that there will be more beyond that. I’m ready to be broken open.

n

 

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