Today was Easter. And usually on Easter I try to make it to church. Other times throughout the year I try to attend church, so I’m not one of those who just go once a year on Easter.
But this year I honestly did not feel like going. So it made me wonder why I went all those times before. Was it done out of guilt and that if you didn’t go you were not a good person? Was it habit? Was it because I wanted to?
I landed on the last one, although I’m sure guilt played somewhat of a role. All those times before I really enjoyed church. I had even learned to take away what resonated with me and leave the rest. But today I chose not to go. And I honestly didn’t feel bad about it. I did not feel the need to apologize to anyone about it either.
It was my choice and I felt good about it. And it was nice to not judge myself in the moment and to give myself permission to do what I wanted to do. That honestly felt really really good. I will work on exercising that freedom more often.