For a long time I have been sitting still. Wondering what to do. Thinking about what could be. Planning. Worrying. Trying. But I wanted this year to be different. No more sitting still. Planning, but not planning things to death. Less worrying and more being easy. More doing less trying. And though I’m excited about taking action, I am nervous too.
Lots of change is on the horizon. And lots of it good. Hmmm … perhaps all of it good. However, I am not good with the start of change. I mean once I get going and the momentum is there I’m golden. But starting feels so burdensome. There’s so much that’s unknown to me.
Getting comfortable with not knowing is a challenge. There is the piece of me that knows things on an intuitive level. These things are effortless and just sort of land in my lap. But the rest is nothing but constant questions and questioning.
I have been thrown into uncomfortable situations this past year and it has taught me much about flexibility, going with the flow and getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. To say it is easy would be a lie. But to say it does get easier feels about right.
It does feel good to consciously move, and move in a very deliberate way. Even though it’s deliberate it’s freeing somehow. It’s a much more thoughtful way to navigate the world, which leaves the door open for other possibilities.
And just because you’re moving, doesn’t mean that you’re making progress. It is possible to move just to move. But when you feel like you’re moving in the right direction, or at least you’re moving toward something new, different, significant and that inspires your growth, well, now that’s something. Really something.
I am learning to enjoy the movement forward, even with its discomfort. And I look forward to moving beyond.